Win of the Week: Patios

Welcome to the Win of the Week! I know recently you’ve all been lost, as I haven’t expressed anything specifically pertaining to a win or mistake of the week, but that’s simply because I’ve been outside. Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to formally welcome you to Patio Season (despite the depressing rumors about how short it will last)! In London, we struggle through winter. Even though we were fortunate to not have to endure a typically harsh winter this year, we still had our fair share of blowing winds, slushy snow and blackouts (power outage ones, not drunk ones… well, I guess drunk ones too). However, now that winter is officially over, let’s focus on what’s in front of us… PATIOS!

Why are patios so great? Well, they are very comparable to why university in general is so great. They’re a luxury item. You know the patio season won’t last. It’s tough to look at now with a whole summer in front of us, but come September, patio post ups will be a thing of the past. So let’s take advantage of these patios while we can! Also, like in university, there’s no shame in being drunk all day, and on patios it’s practically mandatory (well, unless you’re me and then a diet coke is all that is needed). Everyone also seems better looking on patios. Maybe it’s the sun shining down or maybe it’s because everyone is just in a generally better mood because of the heat.

From the London Free Press. Barney's on St. Patrick's Day

What makes a great patio? Oh yes of course, all patios are technically great but what puts one a little above another? A few simply things…

1. Size: The bigger the patio the more friends, the better the company, the easier you can avoid Mr. Right Then from JBRs last Saturday.

2. Service: Be quick. We’re hot and we want drinks (whether they be alcoholic ones or diet cokes) and we want good drinks. So make that happen, okay sweetie?

3. Food: I’m not going to post all day on your patio if you have shitty food. Barney’s knows what’s up in this section. Have you had their chicken fingers?! TOO GOOD. Plus their hamburgers look pretty damn good too.

4. Pretty People: I’m not going to a place where there’s only 3s and 4s scouring around. Make ‘em 7s or higher. Luckily in London, this isn’t a problem.

5. The People: Despite everything I just talked about it really comes down to the people you’re there with because any patio can be great, as long as you’re there with me your friends.

So enjoy the patio season because it’s here for a good time, not a long time and honestly, you can re-take a class, but you can’t relive an afternoon patio post up. So choose wisely and I’ll see you outside.