As you grow up there a few sayings that you are taught not to say. In the past little while had way too many uncomfortable situations regarding the unwritten rules of conversation; so, this list is a refresher for myself and everyone else.
“So, when are you due?”- This saying is almost likely something you were taught never to say as a child. Recently, when visiting home my mom took me for a spa day to a nail salon we frequently visit. As we were sitting getting a pedicure a friend, acquaintance of my mom’s was also there. The steady conversation lasted about 15 minutes, then it suddenly stopped with one of those awkward silences everyone tries to avoid. So being the chatty lady my mom is, she just blurted out to the women working on my toes, “So when are you due?” Now, I thought the silence before was bad, but this was just unpleasant. Of course the woman wasn’t expecting and, in fact, she didn’t even look that pregnant to begin with. My poor mom was horrified and tried to redeem herself by offering the excuse of the baggy shirt the employee was wearing. So for future reference, you should never assume someone is pregnant and never ever ask, “So when are you due?”
“What’s your kill count?”- First of all — I’m not suggesting that I don’t say it too — but why is it called “kill” count? Do people think that somehow during sex the penis slays the women’s _______ and it will no longer function, because that’s not true. Anyways, this phrase although tempting to ask is something that shouldn’t be addressed until you’ve been sleeping or seeing your partner exclusively. If it’s just a one-night stand, do you really NEED to know? Isn’t it better that you just imagine they haven’t been around the block so you don’t feel so insecure about all of their practice? Asking this question shows insecurities and can instantly kill the naked, sweaty, passion-filled mood. You can only lose by asking this question too fast.
“Do you think she’s pretty?” (to your boyfriend) – Why do girls bother asking questions like this? You know that there is no way for your boyfriend or you to win. Clearly the only women you’re going to ask questions like this about are young and attractive. If your boyfriend answers “yes”, you’ll get jealous and upset and probably proceed with asking, “Well, is she prettier than me?” Do you really want to know the answer to that question? Maybe your just wondering what your boyfriend’s “type” is but if he’s dating you then chances are you’re probably his type, so don’t bother asking! And if he answers “no” and she clearly is pretty, then you’ll accuse him of being a liar and perhaps wonder what his bad taste says about you.
“Is that it?”- It doesn’t matter what your commenting on, there is never a good time to ask this question, especially if it’s in bed. If you’re having trouble with this concept take some notes from the girls in the movie The Sweetest Thing.