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The Seven People You’ll Meet At Western

The Seven People You’ll Meet At Western

There are some definite advantages to attending one of the biggest (and best looking) higher education facilities in the country. The wide variety of people you’ll meet is infinite. However, there are some people you’ll be sure to meet. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing to be one of these people, and what you do when you encounter one is totally up to yourself, but these seven people are littered around campus like Canadian geese in the fall.

The Do-Gooder

Characteristics: They’re the first person you meet on campus, because more than likely, they’re a soph. They smile. All. The. Time. They cheer. All. The. Time. They genuinely want to help and make it so you love Western as much as they do, which might be impossible because they love Western a lot. Like the same amount that I love bacon a lot.The Do Gooder is also a lifer at Western. Despite doing well in all their classes, they seem to take forever to graduate.

Extra-Curriculars: Students’ Council, Charity Ball, CAISA Fashion Show, Sophing, Pre-Law and/or Pre-Med and/or Pre-Dental Society.

Natural Habitat: The Spoke–rotating so that their table on the patio is never given up , nor is their booth inside left empty.

Faculty: Any and all, they’re accepting of everyone!

What’s in their pocket: Everything. They’re like your mom, The Do Gooder carries around anything and everything that one could need– stapler, kleenex, cell phone charger (only if you have Blackberry), computer charger for both PCs and Macs. If they don’t have what you need, they’ll apologize profusely and promise to have it next time.

Favourite Saying: Do Gooder A: “Ricks on Wednesday?” Do Gooder B: “I have the USC Meeting but I’ll stop by after!”

The Stereotype

Characteristics: Female: Blonde. Rich. Skinny. Starbucks. Blackberry. Male: Short Hair. Rich. Muscular. Starbucks. Blackberry.

Extra-Curriculars: The Stereotype does some, but not too much to look involved. They don’t want to look like they try too hard. The girl will join CAISA as a model and the boy will play an intramural.

Natural Habitat: Starbucks line up on their Blackberry.

Faculty: Whatever one has the least amount of class time and therefore more time to go to Green Tea and the gym.

What’s in their pocket: NOT their Blackerry, it’s attached to their palm. Their credit cards are in their pocket for easy access.

Favourite Saying: Female: “Did you see who she was kissing at JBRs last night?!” Male: “Bro, let’s go hard tonight.”

The Jock

Characteristics: They are in the gym. They’re at practice. They’re sleeping. They’re at Ceeps. They’re NOT in class. They are so cute sometimes that you can’t help but smile when you seem them trying their hardest to get all their work done before practice. It blows my mind how some of them do so well in school on top of so many hours.

Extra-Curriculars: You think The Jock as any time on top of practice, the bar, torturing the rookies and begging for notes from class they missed during the away game to join any more extra curriculars?

Natural Habitat: The field, rink, court… the playing surface followed by bar of the night.

Faculty: Whatever one the coach said to go into. Break!

What’s in their pocket: Their playbook.

Favourite Saying: “If you give me notes from Tuesday’s class, I’ll get you in backdoor on Saturday…”

The Bar Star

Characteristics: Girls can be seen in high-waist Wilfred skirts and towering heals. Boys can be seen wearing anything not too put together, but not too up tight usually something from GQ. They wait in line and don’t care for how long, because home is where the dance floor is. They haven’t seen McDonald’s breakfast in years nor have they seen the inside of a classroom at Western. Probably lived in Saugeen.

Extra-Curriculars: Unless going out upwards of six days a week qualifies as an extra curricular, they got nothing.

Natural Habitat: JBRS, Ceeps, Jacks, Frog, Taphouse, Mansion, Up. Rinse and repeat.

Faculty: They don’t even know.

What’s in their pocket: An old coat check ticket, five dollars in coins, a number from someone named something.

Favourite Saying: “The bar last night was LIIIIIVE”

The Artsy Hipster

Characteristics: They might be homeless, but they’re at Western so probably not. They’re just hipster. They don’t wear anything cheap, and yet their goal everyday is to look poor.

Extra-Curriculars: Enviro-Western, Western Fashion Society,

Natural Habitat: Victoria Park taking inspiration from nature

Faculty: MIT

What’s in their pocket: a pen and a piece of paper, in case stricken by some great idea and the key to unlock their one speed bicycle they rode to school.

Favourite Saying: “I can’t drink tonight, I spent all my money on art supplies”

The Player

Characteristics: They’re smooth. They’re funny and charismatic. They’re witty and charming. It’s all a game. Tucker Max is their God and they study the book I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell as scripture. They might be a Stereotype or a Jock, but The Player title trumps any other title. A rare, but glorious breed.

Extra-Curriculars: They’ll join the yoga club to get closer to the blonde, the female player will join the Western Sport Business Club to meet the boys. They go where the game is located.

Natural Habitat: They are comfortable wherever. Their confidence makes it so they can adapt to any habitat and thrive.

Faculty: They can be seen in all faculties. Best to tread with caution.

What’s in their pocket: Your phone number. Your roommates number and your best friends number. Deal with it.

Favourite Saying: “Hey babe you’re up! I went out and got us some breakfast!”

The Promoter

Characteristics: They started their own business or help someone with their promoting business. They change their Facebook display picture to the most upcoming event. They never stand in line. They stand outside the line on their phone until they seemingly get picked by the hand of God to enter the bar mere minutes before you, yet those minutes seem to matter. They act like Gods, and why not, to the Bar Star (see above) they are.

Extra-Curriculars: Promoting is a 24 hour business… making events, getting celebrities to come to said events, designing tickets, printing tickets, selling tickets, updating Twitter, updating Facebook, updating BBM, sending out messages on any and all social networks… it’s an extra-curricular in itself

Natural Habitat: The pre, the bar their promoting that night, the after party site.

Faculty: Social Science, purely because it’s the biggest and therefore the better chance to network with a bigger audience.

What’s in their pocket: Tickets that they will gladly sell you within five minutes of meeting you.

Favourite Saying: “It’s gonna be heavy! If you don’t come to this, you’re gonna wish you did! Tickets are going so fast, they’re only ten dollars, that’s a deal! You need to be there!”

So there it is. The seven people you’ll be sure to meet at Western. I, personally love them all because you never know when the female stereotype will start talking about why the Saints offense is struggling this year, or meet a jock who is in engineering and still gets straight A’s.  The fact that all these different types of people go to the same school and unintentionally work together makes Western even more better in my mind.

eat bacon. drink fountain pop.

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