Last week I mentioned a key post-bar activity: The Classic Drunk Munch. I realized though that this activity is much more than just a typical post-bar activity. For many, it is a habit, a staple, and a short period of time where you get to throw your rules out the window (i.e. goal of getting in shape) and eat whatever the hell your heart desires. You swear the poutine, street meat, your roommates frozen pizza (oops), and extra large bag of chips with an entire jar of onion dip (guilty) are literally calling your name!
Drunk munching can act like a comforting BF or GF that one doesn’t have, and if you make friends with the guys at Piero’s, you may be able to get personalized pizzas – just saying. Yes, the “I was drunk” statement has been used and abused, but as long as you can convince yourself that it’s a great idea at the time (which it always is) you are golden.
You know your roommate has engaged in some drunk munching 2.0 when you wake up to find:
- All of your food GONE
- Peanut butter remains all over your bread bag – did my roommate really stick her bare hands right into the jar?! (new low)
- Wrappers everywhere from every chocolate bar imaginable – did they rob the convenience store?
- Food spilt up the staircase and a trail that leads to his/her bedroom
These options may not be appealing to the sober roommates that didn’t go out, but when you are drunk they are the safest decisions you can make. The drunker you are, the better because you are less likely to even remember it the next day, and you will sleep like a baby – definite plus. Some of you may have even have considered buying all of the food on the counter and opening up shop right out of your house (GENIUS). Who needs school when you can just sell pizza out of your house! Remember… these university days may be some of the last days you have before you really have to start watching what you eat, so I say fuck it and go in for the