Yes, I stole the title from a cheesy ’90s movie that defined my love for Andrew Keegan. No, I don’t care if you judge me on that fact. Yes, this is actually an article about Western. No, I don’t hate it…didn’t you see the movie? Julia Stiles didn’t hate Heath Ledger, she loved him, she just found a few of his tendencies annoying. Like Ms. Stiles in the movie, there are a few annoyances about Western, but come on, how can you actually hate something so wonderful?! So without further analysis about this and other movies that I long for my life to parallel, here are Ten Things I Hate About You, Western.
1. I hate the line up at Spoke between 11-1:30pm. It’s long and annoying and all I want is my BLT. Yes, I typed that right. Get off your high horse and stop preaching about the CLT. It’s junk. As far as I’m concerned, a life without bacon is not a life worth living.
2. I hate the lack of cell phone service in the UCC and Nat Sci. How am I supposed to sit through a three hour lecture without bbm? Listen? Take Notes? I don’t think so. Don’t lie to yourself and say that in this situation you would listen more intently. You wouldn’t.
3. I hate the absurd amount of money flying around our campus. Lloyd Banks wrote the song Beemer, Benz or Bentley while walking through the Springett parking lot. I’m convinced. However, to any single boy that owns any of said cars, call me. But seriously, call me.
4. I hate walking up the stairs beside Alumni from HSB. It doesn’t matter if you’re Lance Armstrong, those stairs are impossible to walk up without losing your breath. Then, just when you think it can’t get any worse, the snow comes, which leads me into the next thing I hate…
5. I hate London being in the snowbelt. They don’t put that in the brochure for UWO. When I was a naive grade 12 student, picking Western as the place to call my home for four years, I was not advised that I would have to endure the worst weather of all time. Yes, of all time. The Ice Age didn’t have sh*t on London, Ontario.
6. I hate how our campus seems to get bigger in the winter. Suddenly walking from Alumni Hall to the UCC seems like the longest journey anyone has ever taken. I love our campus in the fall with the changing leaves, and in the spring because you can see and feel summer coming, but the winter is just unbearable at times. During these times, I thank Profs for posting lecture slides online.
7. I hate the parking services. I hate how the staff parking lot at Springett never fills up and yet the parking lot behind that, the one designated to students, fills up on a dime. I hate how there’s no parking close to any building on campus and I hate how if you want to purchase a parking pass you have to pay to park in the parking lot of the Parking Services building. Really? I have to pay ten dollars to park my car in order to get a $350 sticker that lets me park miles from campus. Thanks, UWO parking service, you’re all beauties.
8. I hate the Ceeps line up. I love the Ceeps for the pure fact that my dad used to party there and now I carry on the family tradition. However, the holding of the line, the fenced in area on the opposite side of the door, it reminds me of herding cattle. I am not a cow. You are not a cow. Ceeps, please stop treating us as such.
9. I hate the London city planners. Putting a major educational institute on the opposite side of the city of the main highway is the most annoying thing. Please, put in a parkway to connect the two sides of the city. I hate the train that runs through the middle of downtown multiple times a day. Who decided that bridges were not necessary? Who planned this city? They suck.
10. But mostly, I hate the way I don’t hate Western and London, not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all. I hate how people are telling me that I have to leave. I hate that I won’t get to line up at Ceeps. I hate how I’ll have to walk up stairs to an office and not to a great class with an amazing professor, who hopefully puts lectures online. I hate knowing that this feeling is temporary and one day I’ll look back on these days and remember how I hated somethings so much and still managed to have the time of my life.