Whether you’re going to Cancun, or any other tropical destination over the break, you’re going to need some help. Lucky for you, I ventured to the land of mistakes and bad behaviour last year (see: Cancun) and came home safe and sound and with memories to last a lifetime. Having learned from my mistakes, I want to ensure that you’re going to have the best experience possible, so I’ve created the Spring Break Survival Guide. I learned some very valuable lessons last year and find it only fitting to pass on that knowledge.
Tip 1: Ride in Style
If you need transportation to and from the airport, try to rent a limo. Last year, the plane I was on was severely delayed coming home from Cancun, while other people on my flight actually missed their shuttle that would have taken them back to London. My group of friends and I, however, decided that we were going to be classy from the beginning of our trip, booking a limo to take us to and from the airport. Although this did cause an increase in costs, this move also made sure we weren’t stranded in the Detroit airport coming home– thank God. That being said, Lou, the limo driver was not impressed, having had to wait for us. Lou, that fine gentleman, also stopped at Wendy’s immediately after crossing the border so that I could get my number 4 combo. Lou was a gem.
Tip 2: Sunscreen Etiquette
No one tells you that if you bring your sunscreen to the beach for the day it automatically becomes communal. Obviously hovering over the lotion, ensuring that only you and your bestie are using your sunscreen is not a priority when music is being played and athletic, shirtless boys are passing a football around. Having said that, l suggest you leave your sunscreen in your room. Buying sunscreen from the variety store is an insanely inflated expense, not to mention, the prices in Mexico aren’t exactly regulated, therefore the guy behind the counter will probably rip you off big time. Tip: bring lots of oil/sunscreen and try to limit the amount of people using it. However, if you choose to take others’, be advised that your sunscreen then becomes common property, as well. You’ve been warned.
Side note: On the first day, apply sunscreen evenly. For any clarification, whatsoever, please direct any and all questions to JC Crimmins.
Tip 3: Siesta
I traveled to Cancun with a heavy crew last year. On the first day, my beloved Bailey (she introduced herself all week as “Bailey, like the drink”) decided to partake in the festivities a little too hard and while we all napped at 4pm before the first night out, Bailey kept going. Major props to my girl for her dedication to the Cancun experience but come 10pm when we were all ready to hit The City, Bailey was face down in bed and not going anywhere very fast, or at all, mind you. Despite our best efforts to wake up our 7th Musketeer, the girl was passed out hard, Sleeping Beauty style. So, what’s the lesson to learn from this? Don’t try and be a champ; take a mid day nap and get ready for the night because while Cancun gets hot during the day, it gets steamy at night.
Tip 4: Ask Questions
Before you venture into that hotel room with random hot guy/girl ask these three questions:
1. What school are you from? You want to know if you’re going to have to see them again.
2. When do you leave? Your companion-to-be’s departure date will determine if you’re going to have to see them at the beach every day until the end of your trip, therefore causing some potentially awkward moments.
3. Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? This question doesn’t actually matter… Everyone is single in Cancun.
Tip 5: Tighter is Better
DISCLAIMER: This rule applies to girls only.
You know how, when at Western, you wear loose fitting, overly big for your small body (because you’re on your #CancunDiet) and it makes you look like a little hipster? Hipsters don’t survive in Cancun. Throw away your apathetic attitude and embrace the Cancun lifestyle. Having said that, the only way to take full advantage of Spring Break and all those crunches and lunges you did pre-flight to Cancun is to wear the tightest, smallest outfits ever. Think about what you wear to JBR’s; now cut that in half and BOOM! You are now prepared to take on the Cancun lifestyle. One more pointer: avoid heels; you’re partying a kilometer from the beach, so, leave the heels at Cobra.
I know, you all want to thank me for telling me how helpful this survival guide was to helping you prepare for Cancun; you’re welcome. Although I appreciate your love, the best way to thank me would be for you to have the best time ever. Cancun has an age limit on it and despite technically letting anyone come, after the ripe old age of 25, the Heavenly vacation spot turns a little creepy. Take advantage of the times you can go. Don’t think too much because you will be doing just that when you arrive back in London after the fastest, most fun, exciting and crazy week of your life. That is a guarantee.
I know you want to all thank me personally, but don’t worry about that. You just go off to your Spring break destination, whether it be Cancun or whatever beach you choose. I find that as long as there is ocean, friends and sand, the specific location is secondary. Remember the survival guide but make sure you’re a yes man more than nay-saying negative Nancy.
Dance instead of stand and chug instead of sip.
Happy traveling, I’ll be there in spirit!